Buildup
by BlackMage3
Summary: Lizzie and Gordo have been best friends forever. So why does her heart race every time she sees him?
1. Won't Say I'm In Love

A/N This story is going to be little more run-of-the-mill, no e-mails to speak of. But I hope it will be as popular, and a little easier to understand. This story is written Worst Case Scenario. As in, Disney does not put Gordo and Lizzie together in the movie. AKA, they come back from Rome still not together.  
  
Oh, and for my purposes they only spent 10 days or so in Rome (which is the amount of time I'm spending in France this summer on my class trip…). So this story begins in the summertime, with Miranda still in Mexico. Where she will remain through the story. But don't worry, we WILL hear from her.  
  
AND, I've decided to incorporate Cartoon Lizzie. She will be expressed by "*."   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire or any of the songs used in this story. Although if anyone knows if Gordo or Adam Lamberg is for sale, please let me know.  
  
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"Face it like a grown up,  
When ya gonna own up,  
That you've got got got it bad?"  
  
-Hercules, Won't Say I'm in Love  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The rush of the return home was still with Lizzie when she woke up in her bed for the first time in 10 days. Despite Rome, despite Paolo, despite her brief singing career, there was no getting around the fact that she had MISSED her bed.  
  
How pathetic.  
  
With a grin used only by those who are extremely, perfectly happy, she rolled onto her side and enjoyed the sunlight streaming through the window. It was a beautiful day in Hillridge, and she was planning to enjoy every moment of it.  
  
Downstairs, the phone was ringing but she made no effort to move. She was going to spend the next half hour just enjoying the feeling of her bed, with the comforter snuggled around her protectively. Then, after she was finished with that, she would plop around the house in her pajamas without a thought of brushing her hair. Nope, that day, she was going to relax.  
  
A gentle knock on her bedroom door caused her to shut her eyes quickly. Maybe her mom would leave her alone if she thought she was asleep.  
  
"Lizzie," Mrs. McGuire whispered, entering the room quietly. Seeing her daughter's apparently, sleeping form, she turned her attention to the phone in her hand. As she began leaving the room, Lizzie heard her say, "I'm sorry, Gordo, but she's still-"  
  
"Wait!" Lizzie leapt out of bed and rushed her mom. Snatching the phone from the other's rip, she explained, "Um, never mind, mom, I just woke up."  
  
With a knowing smile, Mrs. McGuire nodded and returned downstairs.  
  
"Hey Gordo," Lizzie said into the phone. She chose to ignore the racing of her heart. She was nervous. Of course she was. The guy she loved was on the other side of the line.  
  
"Hey, Lizzie," came the cheerful reply. "You mom said you were sleeping."  
  
"I, uh, was. But I woke up when I heard her come in."   
  
*Right. That's good.*  
  
"What's up?" she asked.  
  
"Well, I wanted to know if you wanted to, you know, hang out today. That is, if you're not busy or anything."  
  
She stole a glance at her bed.   
  
*Rest is so overrated.*   
  
"Not doing a thing."  
  
"Okay. So, I'll be over there in about… an hour?"   
  
"An hour is perfect."   
  
"See ya then."  
  
With that, they both hung up.  
  
"What have I gotten myself into," she asked her room, aloud.  
  
It had been months since Kate had revealed Gordo's feelings for her. And once Lizzie's eyes had been opened, there had been no stopping all the signs she realized that he had been sending her. She'd wondered how she'd missed them all.  
  
Yet.   
  
Yet in Rome, things had changed. Suddenly, the nervous smiles, the staring looks… had disappeared. It was as if whatever feelings he'd had for her had been flicked off by a switch or something.  
  
And she was suddenly very aware of how she ached for them.  
  
It was this revelation that she'd had on the plane home, as she'd watched him sleep. When no one was looking, she'd brushed a lock of his curls away from his eyes, and found herself caught up in the feeling of her finger against his forehead. And ignoring every thought in her head that seemed to shriek of how crazy the idea was, her heart sang a different tune. A tune that sounded suspiciously like, "You're in love with him."  
  
With a smothered sign, she grabbed some clothes from her closet and raced to the shower before Matt would wake up and take over the bathroom.  
  
"Lizzie," called Mr. McGuire from downstairs about 40 minutes later, "Gordon's here."  
  
"Just a minute, dad!" Frowning, she stared at her appearance in the mirror with a critical eye. 'Not hideous,' she finally decided. She was reminded of a similar conversation with her sitting in this very spot, not too long ago.  
  
-FLASHBACK-  
  
"I'm… decent looking," she said, rather pitifully examining her reflection.  
  
"You're very pretty," Gordo replied from her bed.  
  
For whatever reason, her heart skipped a bit.  
  
-END OF FLASHBACK-  
  
Now she smiled at the memory and got to her feet.   
  
"Hey, Gordo," she said, getting to the bottom of the steps.   
  
"Hey."   
  
None of her family was around.  
  
"They all went to the store, I think," Gordo informed her, reading her mind.  
  
"So, what do you want to do?" she asked.   
  
"Want to go to the lake?"  
  
She and Gordo at, in her opinion, one of the most romantic places in Hillridge? Probably not a good idea. She had a tendency to get caught up in a moment. What if she blabbed her feelings?  
  
"Sure," she readily agreed.   
  
*Good job, McGuire.*  
  
"Can I use your phone," he asked. "I can call my parents and they can drive us."  
  
"Sure." She tossed him the cordless and left him to talk.  
  
'You,' she thought to herself, 'are SUCH a loser.'  
  
Gordo appeared at that moment. "They said that's fine. Want to grab some bread to feed the ducks?"  
  
Bowing her head sheepishly, she nodded. Gordo was one of the few people in the world that knew how incredibly guilty she always felt, going to the lake with food for herself but nothing for the ducks.  
  
Doing so, between the two of them, they made a picnic and waited outside for his parents to arrive. In the silence, the sun warmed her bare arms and, knowing it was nothing but trouble, she glanced at Gordo. His eyes were trained to the road and it took him a full minute to realize that she was staring at him.  
  
"What," he asked, shifting his gaze to where his eyes were now meeting hers.  
  
Her heart flipped over in her stomach. "I just… I was wondering what you were thinking."  
  
He grinned. "I guess I was thinking about us."  
  
*Us?*  
  
"Us?"  
  
"You know. Everything we've been through. Like the whole Monte Carlo thing we pulled last year. And tie dying your sheets. And when you tried to change who you were to impress Ethan. And the murder mystery party."  
  
"The murder mystery party," she repeated after a second.  
  
"That was fun," he continued.  
  
"Yes it was. You were impressive."   
  
He seemed to be staring into the past. "I don't know what was wrong with me that night."  
  
*You liked me, you idiot.*  
  
"You just…wanted to win."  
  
He looked down at his hands. "That I did."  
  
*And you know why, too. Don't act innocent with me, buddy.*  
  
With that, the Gordon's car pulled into the driveway, and the pair got to their feet.  
  
*This has trouble written ALL over it." 


	2. Show Me Heaven

Disclaimer: Don't own NOTHING! Not Lizzie, not Gordo (that's really too bad), and not the songs. Sorry.  
  
Author's Note: I haven't done anything to Gordo. He's still the same guy. And as for Lizzie wanting Gordo… I know. I haven't seen too many stories like that either. I just wanted to write one that would make it very clear just how reciprocated Gordo's feelings are. And sorry, but this chapter is shorter than the last one, but now I know exactly what I want to do with Chapter Three, and so I had to stop it here. Please read and review. And if Gordo isn't coming off quite like he is in the show, let me know, so I won't make him too different. Because above all else that I want you to get from this story, I want you to get that Lizzie likes Gordo JUST HOW HE IS. That he didn't have to get taller or become different for Lizzie to take notice.  
  
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"Here I go,   
I'm shaking just like the breeze.   
Hey baby, I need your hand to steady me.   
I'm not denying,   
I'm frightened as much as you   
Though I'm barely touching you   
I've shivers down my spine   
And it feels divine."  
  
-Jessica Andrews, Show Me Heaven   
  
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The ride to the lake was alive with questions from the Gordons about Lizzie's time in Rome. They wanted to know everything. How had it felt, singing in front of all those people? Was the city just as beautiful as everyone said? Was she glad to be home?  
  
By the time they reached their destination her brain had been picked clean and the only thought going through her mind was how glad she was to climb out of the car.  
  
A bluebird chirped in a large tree as the Gordons drove away. A long moment passed as the pair approached the water's edge.   
  
"This is my favorite place," she found herself saying aloud. They were sitting in the shade of an oak tree, the shadow of which cooling them from the heat.  
  
"I know," he answered. He passed her a slice of bread they had set aside for the ducks and she began tearing it into bite sized pieces.  
  
"It's so peaceful." Surprisingly, there was no one else around. Usually, this time of year, it was filled with local high school kids, loud and boisterous, leaping into the warm water, splashing everyone around. Usually, the laughter and voices were earsplitting.   
  
Not today. Today there was an odd calm surrounding them.  
  
She had to say something. The silence was starting to get to her. One more instant and her heart would start doing the talking.  
  
"So… Did you have a good time in Rome?"  
  
*Okay, THAT doesn't sound dumb. He was in one of the most romantic cities in the world, and I want to know if he had fun. Oh, someone just shoot me.*  
  
He looked at her oddly. "Yeah, it was good. Got a lot of stuff on camera. You should come by and watch the video sometime."  
  
"I will."   
  
He returned his attention to the water, then stood. She followed suit. Slowly he turned to face her. Their eyes locked.  
  
"Lizzie…"   
  
She caught her breath. "Yeah?"  
  
He took a step closer. "Look, Lizzie." He gently reached up and rested his hands on her shoulder. She relished his touch.  
  
Then it happened.   
  
With no warning, without another word spoken…  
  
He shoved her into the lake.  
  
Lizzie might have been taller than he was, but taken completely off guard, all she could do was shriek in protest and hit the water full throttle.  
  
Fully clothed.  
  
Coming up for air, she growled in fury.  
  
"Gordo!"   
  
From the shore, he laughed. "I couldn't help it."  
  
She was faster than he. Even from the disadvantage point of the water, she caught him effortlessly. Grabbing hold of his wrist, she dragged him towards the lake.  
  
"I'm sorry," he moaned, in an attempt to be released for good behavior.   
  
"Too little, too late." She took in a deep breath and breathed in his scent. It wasn't cologne or anything, but it was HIS SCENT. The way he smelled. And she didn't want to forget it.  
  
*Focus!*  
  
With a triumphant yell, she leapt into the water, taking him with her.   
  
"McGuire!" he screamed. And then he began swimming towards her.   
  
He was a much better swimmer.   
  
"Ahh!" She had a good lead, but probably not good enough. Yet she swam with all her might towards the shore, ignoring the sound of him gaining.  
  
"Oh, no you don't." He caught her from behind, his arms wrapping around her waist.  
  
And she froze.  
  
Every brain cell fully functioning told her how unbelievably bad this was, but she couldn't move. Goosebumps appeared, running up and down her arms.   
  
Still behind her, his breath tickled her neck.   
  
And when she turned, and their faces were mere inches away from each other.  
  
"Gordo," she breathed.  
  
*Say it! Say it, say it, say it!*  
  
"Lizzie…" He glanced up at the suddenly dark sky. "It's beginning to rain." With that, he spun around, and swam towards land.  
  
Swallowing all the screams of frustration rising in her throat she ducked herself under once more. And then, with a sigh, did the same.  
  
"No lighting yet," Gordo said, setting up the picnic under a large oak tree.  
  
"Lucky," she returned halfheartedly. Had he not noticed? Had he really not felt the desire that had been radiating from her?   
  
Or maybe he had noticed but been unwilling to respond because he didn't feel that way anymore.   
  
That was something she may have to learn to deal with. But she just didn't get it. How do just suddenly STOP loving someone? How do you from wanting to kiss them to NOT, when you're presented with the opportunity?  
  
For that matter, how do you go from seeing a guy as your best friend to believing in your heart that you can't live without him?  
  
*I should just tell him. And then I'll know for sure.*  
  
Grinting her teeth in anticipation, she set her sandwich down and shifted. "Gordo, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Course."  
  
She closed her eyes. This was it, the moment of truth. "Gordo, I was just wondering if you-"  
  
BEEP BEEP!  
  
The pair jumped and caught sight of his parents' car pulling up.   
  
"Come on, kids," Mrs. Gordon called, "it's raining. We need to get you both home!"  
  
"Okay, Mom," Gordo yelled back. Swiftly he began gathering the food. "What did you want to ask me, Lizzie?"  
  
"Just…. Just if you want to come over and hang out for a while."   
  
*I KNOW what you're thinking. But what if he said no? Then, not only would I have to figure out a way to repair my broken heart, but our broken friendship too.*  
  
He grinned. "Sure."  
  
"Great."   
  
Dashing through the rain, they leapt into the car, and when they laughed, she could almost pretend that times were like they had been. Before she knew how he felt. And before she fell in love with her best friend. 


	3. Beauty and the Beast

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters from Lizzie McGuire… except Gordo. JUST KIDDING!  
  
A/N: I know it's been a while, but not all chapters will be like this. I was having some huge problems with the end of this chapter.  
  
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Tale as old as time,  
True as it can be,  
Barely even friends,  
Then somebody bends,  
Unexpectedly.  
Just a little change,  
Small to say the least,  
Both a little scared,  
Neither one prepared,   
Beauty and the beast."  
  
-Mrs. Potts, Beauty and the Beast  
  
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His parents dropped Gordo out at Lizzie's without even the slightest argument, although the trip was delayed by a pit stop to his own house to change. "Because," he said, "as fun as it REALLY IS to hang out in wet clothes, I think I prefer dry."  
  
She had kept her mouth shut.  
  
By the time they arrived at Lizzie's, the rain had stopped, and the sun was peaking from behind the clouds.  
  
"Did you have something in mind to do," he asked as his parents drove away.   
  
"Not really," she replied. A note on the counter told them that Lizzie's parents had gone to Lowe's and that Matt was at Lanny's. "We could watch a movie."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Beauty and the Beast."  
  
"I think I'll pass."  
  
She grinned. "What, you don't like movies that have happy endings? Where everyone gets exactly what they want?"  
  
"I don't like movies the encourage kids to believe that love solves everything."  
  
Lizzie stared at him in disbelief. Never had she heard such outright bitterness from the lips of her best friend.   
  
"Of course it does," she answered, grabbing a soda from the fridge and handing one to him. With a loud pop, they opened their drinks simultaneously.  
  
Taking what could only be described as an angry swallow, he frowned at his friend. "Oh, come on. It's just the company's way of encouraging happily ever after."  
  
"What's wrong with that?"  
  
"There IS no happily ever after!"  
  
"There is too!"  
  
"No, there isn't. Lizzie, my parents are psychiatrists. Do you know what the odds are for love to work?"  
  
Before she could halt the words, she found herself muttering, "Like you'd know anything about it, anyway."  
  
He cocked an eyebrow. "What's THAT supposed to mean?"  
  
*Okay, you weren't supposed to hear that.*  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"It didn't sound like nothing to me. Now spit it out, McGuire. What did you mean?"  
  
She avoided his eyes, knowing that if she didn't tears might form in hers. "Like you've ever been in love," she snapped.  
  
She chanced a glance up.  
  
If she'd been hoping to make him mad, she had failed pathetically. Because the look on his face was not fury.  
  
But absolute misery.  
  
It was as if she had punched him in the stomach. His eyes were wide with surprise and pain, his cheeks pale.   
  
She turned away.   
  
"Oh, Lizzie, you're right. You know such much more about the subject than I!"  
  
-FLASHBACK-  
  
"So, what do you know the guy, anyway?"   
"I know that he's a total hottie!"  
"Well, there's a rock solid foundation."  
  
-ENDFLASHBACK-  
  
-FLASHBACK-  
  
"Lizzie's in love with some guy named Ronnie."  
"Ahh."  
  
-ENDFLASHBACK-  
  
She spun around, eyes flashing. "Those are only two instances and you know it. And anyway, just because I have acted like a dirk in the past doesn't mean that I've never been in love!"  
  
*AH!! Rewind. When am I going to learn to think before I speak?*  
  
His eyes flickered. "When were YOU in love?"  
  
Lips pursed, she replied, "When were YOU?"  
  
*(sarcastically) Wow, Lizzie, that doesn't sound like avoidance at all!*  
  
Finally, dropping his empty soda can in the trash, Gordo started for the front hall. "I'm getting out of here. I'll talk to you later." With that, he slammed the door behind him.  
  
*I am not going to cry, I am not going to cry, I am NOT going to cry.*  
  
Swallowing hard, she began unloading the dishwasher.   
  
What had gotten into her? When had she become a girl that went out of her way to push her best friend's buttons? After all, she knew that, at least at one point, he had loved her. So she had intentionally said something hateful. Was this the person that loving Gordo had created?  
  
The shrill ring of the phone startled her from her thoughts and self pity.   
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Lizzie!"  
  
She felt automatic comfort from the familiar sound of Miranda's voice.  
  
"Miranda! How's Mexico?"  
  
Her friend tossed that topic aside with an impatient sigh. "Boring! I can't believe I missed graduation and Rome for THIS!" Pause. "So how's Hillridge? You keeping Gordo in line?"  
  
"Not exactly."  
  
"What do ya mean?"  
  
"Miranda…" She took a shaky breath. "Gordo has a crush me."  
  
There was silence on the other side of the line. And then:  
  
"Hi, Pope? It's Miranda. I'm just calling to let you know… You're Catholic!" With that, she burst out laughing.   
  
"Miranda!" snapped Lizzie, "this ISN'T funny!"  
  
A quiet chuckling met her ears. "Sure it is."  
  
"Oh yeah? Well… Well, I think I like him too."  
  
Miranda stopped laughing. Then said, "Hi, Mr. Rabbi? It's Miranda. I'm just calling to let you know-"  
  
Lizzie cut her off. "Well, I'm glad you think this is funny, but I DON'T. I don't know what to do," she moaned.   
  
"I'm sorry," Miranda apologized, her voice softening. "I say, just tell him."  
  
"Easier said than done."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Quickly, Lizzie filled her friend in on the details of Rome and of the events of that day, including the argument.   
  
When she was finished, Miranda finally exclaimed, "So get your butt over to his house and APOLOGIZE!"  
  
"Miranda-"  
  
"Go!"  
  
"You don't under-"  
  
"I'm hanging up now. JUST so that you can go make up with Gordo. So go."   
  
Lizzie stood, holding the phone in her hand with the sound of the dial tone drowning on in her ear.  
  
And then she rushed out the door. 


	4. Anymore

Disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire.   
  
A/N Okay, this chapter is way shorter than the others. Sorry. But I know what I'm doing with the next chapter and so I have to stop where I am. And anyway, what's the deal with www.fanfiction.net? I can't get to the newly updated stories. Hmm….  
  
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"I can't hide the way I feel about you,  
Anymore.  
I can't hold the hurt inside,  
Keep the pain out of my eyes,  
Anymore."  
  
-Travis Tritt, Anymore  
  
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What was she going to say? She could feign insanity, which, she was well aware, would not be too much of a stretch. After all, people always said that love made them do crazy things.  
  
She was gasping for breath by the time she reached his front door. Inwardly, she was trembling.  
  
*Okay, just breathe. Remember, in and out, in and out…*  
  
Ignoring the pain in her sides from the run, she rang the doorbell.  
  
"I've got it," she heard him call.  
  
And suddenly he was standing right in front of her.   
  
"Lizzie," he greeted, his eyes blank. Whatever he was feeling, he gave no indication.  
  
"Hey," she said, "I was wondering if we could talk for a minute, if you have the time. I mean, if not, it's okay, but…" She halted to inhale more air.  
  
He stepped outside. "What?"  
  
He wasn't going to make this easy.  
  
"Gordo, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about today."   
  
*Now, Lizzie, was that so bad?*  
  
"I don't know why I was so hateful to you. It's not like I think you could never be in love. I just… wanted to hurt you."  
  
"Why?" His voice was so soft with intensity that she found herself unable to avoid his eyes. As if captivated, she groped for words.  
  
"I-"  
  
*Say it!*  
  
"I… wish I could tell you."   
  
*That's okay. I figure, I've still got about a day or two before I die of a broken heart.  
  
Quick to change the subject, she asked, "So when WERE you in love?" A variation of the question she had been dying to ask since Kate's revelation.   
  
He dropped into a sitting position on his porch and she followed suit. "Earlier this year," he responded, obviously uncomfortable.   
  
"What happened," she persisted.  
  
*Easy, Lizzie.*  
  
"A classic case of bad timing. I loved her at a point where she couldn't see me as anything more than Gordo."  
  
"Maybe if you'd told her."  
  
He glanced at her. "No. I'm just Gordo to her."  
  
"Do you still love her?"  
  
*Alright, well, here we go.*  
  
He grinned. "Oh, no you don't, McGuire. What about YOUR mystery love?"  
  
She stood. "MY mystery love?"  
  
"Yeah. You were in love, weren't you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"When was this? Actually, better question. Who?"  
  
"I plead the fifth," she joked, hoping her voice didn't sound as shaky as it felt.  
  
"Well, what happened?"  
  
"Just another instance of bad timing. I learned that he liked me but by the time I realized I felt the same way, he was over me."  
  
"And you never said a word?"  
  
"How do you tell someone that has moved on that you love them?"  
  
"If it helps, it doesn't sound like he was that great anyway. I mean, you're… absolutely wonderful. Obviously he didn't realize what was in front of him."  
  
She fought the tears rising to the surface. Why was he so clueless?   
  
"Gordo, I'm really sorry. I know I already said it, but…"  
  
"Look," he said, an attempt at being reassuring, "it wasn't what you said that made me so angry." He smiled and took her hand. "I was just mad at the underlying statement. You know, that because I'm smart I'm incapable of having feelings. That it would be impossible for me to find myself head over heels for a girl."   
  
Lizzie fought back the shivers crawling up her spine as he gently squeezed her hand and released it.   
  
"How about you come inside for a while, and we'll watch a movie," he suggested, moving towards the door to open it for her.   
  
She murmured her thanks and crossed into the living room.  
  
Unbeknownst to her, a pair of familiar blue eyes were watching her every movement as she rummaged through his video collection.  
  
Ashamed, Gordo dropped his gaze to the carpet. How long, he wondered, had it been since he'd made that promise to himself that, no matter what, he would hide his feelings so deep that no one would see them?  
  
Through the whole Ethan ordeal, he had remained silent, his feelings ever present, with a faith that one day her eyes would be opened, and she could see him as more than a friend. And with Ronnie, he had been swift to pick up the pieces, his heart unable to watch the pain in her eyes.   
  
But after that last guy, Paolo, he had almost lost his mind. His heart had ached every moment that he saw her with him. When she'd climbed into the back of that scooter, he'd felt cool dread flow through is body. A fear unlike any other-the fear of losing her to the life she seemed to fit so well into was forever there.   
  
That was why, on the plane back, he'd made the decision. At one point he'd glanced over at her and realized the cold hard fact: She was never going to see it. He would never be the one that made her pulse race, he'd never be able to hold her in his arms, or kiss her under the evening stars. She would never, could never love him that way.  
  
Of course then there had been times like today that made him wonder. Like swimming. If he hadn't known better, than he would say that in that moment before the storm, with his arms wrapped around her, she had been aching for that kiss the way he had been. But that was ridiculous.   
  
"What do you want to watch," she called, motioning sheepishly at the mild mess she had made on his floor with the scattered array of tapes she had drawn from the T.V. table.  
  
Forcing a platonic smile on his face and moving to the living room to join his friend, he found himself replying, "How about Beauty and the Beast?" 


	5. How Am I Supposed To Live Without You?

Disclaimer: Ha ha! It finally happened! I own something. I own the girl that Gordo is dating that is mentioned in this chapter. And hey, if you can guess what game Lizzie is playing on Gordo's gamecube mentioned in this chapter, then I'll rename her to be after you. Oh, and this is the FRIST one to name the game. Just review and let me know what game you think it is there.  
  
A/N: I am going to the beach this week and, so, will not be able to update. I will try to put up chapter six before I go, but I doubt I will be able to.   
  
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I didn't come here for crying,  
Didn't come here to break down.  
It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end.  
But how can I blame you  
When I built my world around  
The hope that one day we'd be so much more than friends.  
  
-Michael Bolton, How Am I Supposed To Live Without You  
  
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In the following days the pair stayed clear of the lake, an unspoken agreement having passed between them.. Slowly, they were developing a pattern. Gordo would come over every evening around 9 p.m. ("After dark it's much more exciting," he'd explained to an uncertain Lizzie), bringing his gamecube. It was a birthday present from his parents, who'd sworn that he needed to release his frustrations in a nonviolent manner. (Now what frustrations they believed he was keeping inside he could only guess. And despite his beginning reluctance to so much as even touch what he considered to be a variation of the boob tube, he found himself rather amused in cracking some of the more difficult puzzles some of the games had.) He was beginning to guide Lizzie through one of his favorites.  
  
"Go through these double doors," he said now, pointing to the objects he was referring to. "Now there's a zombie on the other side, so be prepared to run."  
  
"I can't just shoot it?" she questioned, narrowing her eyes at the screen in front of her.  
  
"No. Remember, pretty soon we're going to do something that's going to turn all the zombies we killed into crimson heads, and so if there are some we can avoid killing then I think we should attempt it."  
  
She nodded and did as directed.   
  
*I know, I know. Horror movies terrify me. So why, I'm sure you're asking, would I want to play a scary game? Dark room, alone, with Gordo? I'll give you one guess.*  
  
"There's the save room," she shrieked in pleasure, having effectively avoided the zombie Gordo had described.  
  
"Right. Now go in, get your ink ribbon and save your game. We're done for the night."  
  
Finishing her friends current instructions, she shut off the gamecube.  
  
"So, um, you going home now?" she asked, stealing a glance at the large round clock. 11:15, it said.  
  
He grinned, and got to his feet. "I guess I should."   
  
"I'll go see if my mom's still awake," Lizzie suggested, "I'm sure she can drive you home."  
  
"Oh," he interrupted, "don't worry about it. My mom said she'd come get me at 11:30." He smiled. "Oh, the joys of summer vacation and Fridays."  
  
"That's true." She began a walk to the kitchen, with her friend following behind her. "Want something to drink before you go?"  
  
"Coke's fine."  
  
As she passed him his soda, their fingers lightly brushed and she fought back the shiver threatening to crawl up her spine. 'What's the matter with you,' she inwardly screamed at herself.   
  
With every day that passed, Lizzie kept hoping that she would awaken without Gordo on her mind. Miranda had called him from Mexico wanting to know what the deal was. After all, when she'd left, though he hadn't said it aloud, she had known that he loved Lizzie. And suddenly he had just turned those feelings off?  
  
"So Gordo," Miranda had began, days before, in the aforementioned telephone call, attempting to EASE into her question, "you guys having fun?"  
  
"Yep. I'm teaching her to play-"  
  
"No no no, you misunderstand. Are you going to ask her out or what?" 'So much for EASING.'  
  
There was a long pause. "Look, Miranda, I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Yes you do," she'd snapped. "You like Lizzie. You always have. Now are you going to do something about it or not?"  
  
"Okay, you caught me. I DID have feelings for Lizzie, but they're gone now. I moved on."  
  
Later, when Miranda had told Lizzie what he'd said, a pain unlike anything Lizzie had ever felt had coursed through her body. It was official, he'd said it out loud. He had cared and he didn't anymore.  
  
"So, I'll see you tomorrow," Lizzie said, as the pair stepped outside into the warm night air to watch for his parents.  
  
He shifted uncomfortably. "Well, actually, I'm not sure."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I, well…" He grinned sheepishly and dropped his head. "I sort of have a date."  
  
*A DATE?????*  
  
"A…date."   
  
"Right. A date."  
  
When Miranda had brought the news of Gordo's comment about moving on, she had thought that never in her life could she feel worse. Well well well. She was a walking contradiction.  
  
"How did you meet her?"   
  
*That's great, Lizzie. Ask him all about it. That will really help the way you feel.*  
  
"She lives in the neighborhood, we'd just never crossed paths. She's going to be a sophomore. Isn't that great?"  
  
*Just ducky.*  
  
"I'm really happy for you," she lied. "So, are you excited?"  
  
"You know, I didn't think I'd be, but I am. You know, I haven't done much dating since Brook Baker. It's nice to be out there again. Burning up the dating scene."   
  
She forced a smile at his joke. "Yeah, congrats."  
  
"Are you okay," he asked, studying her out of the corner of his eye.  
  
"I'm fine," she replied quickly. Too quickly.  
  
He turned. "What's wrong?"  
  
*Here's your chance. Do it, do it, do it, do it!*  
  
She dropped her eyes. "Nothing, Gordo, really."  
  
"You know you can tell me anything, right?"  
  
"I do. I know. I'm just…tired."  
  
"Which is what everyone says when they're upset about something."  
  
"Look, Gordo, I'm fine! Okay? Really."   
  
There was a look of disbelieve in his eyes as he nodded. "If you say so, Lizzie." He had a wounded tone. "I can come by tomorrow night after the date. We could play some more-" He paused to gesture to the gamecube.  
  
She shook her head. "No, don't worry about it. It's okay. I have plans too."   
  
*Okay, so I'm lying. But what would YOU do?*  
  
He glanced up, his interest peeked. "Really? What are you doing?"  
  
"My mom and I are going to hang out, plant some roses," she replied, feeling a twinge of guilt for the lie. "You know, do a little mother/daughter bonding."  
  
He raised his eyebrows. "At 9:00 at night?"  
  
"Yeah, well, you know. That's the perfect time to…plant things. Because of the lack of…sun…."  
  
Before Gordo could give any sort of response, his parents familiar car pulled into the driveway.   
  
"Well, that's them," he said needlessly.   
  
She nodded.  
  
"I'll see you later then?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
With a backwards glance at Lizzie, he stepped into the car.   
  
*Good job, McGuire. Good job.* 


	6. It Must Be Love

Disclaimer: Hiya. I don't own anything. And Sara is only PART mine, considering that she is the sister of the guy, Jeremy, who guessed Resident Evil. Sorry, Pattyogreen, but he got it first. But, look, I mentioned you. J Hey, tell ya what. I'll make her name Sara Green. How cool am I? ;)  
  
A/N: Yay, I'm back from the beach. Go me. Ugh, the weather was horrible, but on the bright side, I came up with a plot for Chapter Six. Yay encore! Also, it's a lot longer than some of the other ones, but when you get to the end, you will feel, as I feel, that it was more than worth it. And BTW, sorry it took so long.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"It must be love, the way that I feel.  
Something inside, oh, tells me it's for real.  
Now I know why, it's you I'm thinking of,  
Now I know it must be love."  
-Mark, It Must Be Love, California Dreams  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Gordo's on a date? So why are you sitting here, talking to me?" Miranda shrieked over the telephone. From where Lizzie was sitting in her kitchen she could see the street. A dark haired little boy, maybe 5 years old was chasing a blond girl about the same age.   
  
*I hope you catch her, kid. And if ya do, make sure you tell her how you feel NOW before life gets complicated.*  
  
She sighed and twisted the phone cord. "Miranda, what would you have me do? Follow him around, crouching behind bushes and shooting her dirty looks?"  
  
"If that's what it takes!"   
  
"No, Miranda," Lizzie snapped, "I can't do it anymore. I can't stand feeling this way. I'll just shut him out of my life. Never speak to him again. Just sit alone in my room until you get back."  
  
Miranda's voice softened. "And you honestly believe that you can do that? Just forget Gordo? Just forget that you love him?"  
  
Lizzie leapt to her feet, and began unceremoniously wrapping herself in the cord. "That's another thing. We're acting like I love him or something. And THAT is absolutely ridiculous."  
  
"How do you figure?"  
  
"HELLO?! Ever since the fourth grade, when I got a crush on him, my feelings have been hot/cold. One minute he'll be all I can think about and the next I'm chasing after brainless idiots with good hair and Italian guys that I don't even know. How can you love someone and treat them like that?" Her voice dropped as she muttered the last sentence.  
  
"You say your feelings for him run hot/cold. But let me ask you a question. When there was that pool party back when you liked Danny Kessler and you KNEW he was going to be there you CHOSE to stay home and tie dye sheets with Gordo. Why?"  
  
Lizzie froze. "I don't know. It just seemed like it'd be more fun."  
  
"More fun than hanging out with a guy you thought you were head over heels for?"  
  
"Well-"  
  
"And after our marriage project, when I was teasing you about being with Gordo, didn't you tell me, "Best friend equals best marriage?""  
  
"I wasn't speaking specifically about him and me."  
  
"How sure of that are you?"  
  
"Um…"  
  
"Why were you so quick to leap to his rescue when you thought Brook might be using him?"   
  
"He's my friend."  
  
"Lizzie, you wanted me to follow him into the men's room."  
  
"That's not the point…"  
  
"Isn't it? And when you wanted to get a job and you were complaining about it, I was sitting there trying to tell you that there was a Help Wanted sign up right behind you. Why did you only notice when Gordo pointed it out?"  
  
"Uh…."  
  
"And you TOLD me that when you were envisioning your gorgeous husband, he was Gordo. NOT Ethan, but Gordo. What was that about?"  
  
"Um…."  
  
"Why were you so upset about Gordo going to high school, Lizzie?"  
  
"You were upset, too!"  
  
"Yes, but NOT the way you were. You told me you just wished that you could tell him how you felt. What were you feeling, Lizzie?"  
  
"I…dunno. I just missed him."  
  
"And when I went out on the dance floor with Ethan, the guy you were so sure that you were crazy about, and Gordo was dancing with Parker, I saw the look you had. One of sadness and mild jealousy. And it wasn't directed at me and Ethan."  
  
"Do you have a point?"  
  
Miranda sighed. "Yes. Look, the point is that your feelings for Gordo were omnipresent. Not always obvious, but they were there. So if you are so certain that your feelings can't be love on account of them being inconsistent … Then I think you have to find another reason or face up to the truth. That you love David Zephyr Gordon. And that you always have."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Twenty minutes later Lizzie hung up the phone, feeling more confused than before. Not about her feelings. No, those were finally clear-too clear, really, but that was for another time.  
  
No, now she had no idea what to do.  
  
Miranda kept insisting that she should just tell him and be done with it. After all, her dark haired friend had pointed out, he had liked Lizzie before anyone else was in the picture. Maybe all she'd have to do was blurt out that she loved him and he would cast aside whatever feelings he had for this other girl, realizing that SHE was the one he was meant to be with.   
  
*It's possible! I didn't realize I liked him until I knew he like ME.*  
  
But she couldn't do it. Because no matter what, she wasn't in a position to chance their friendship like that. If she was wrong, there would be no way to undo the damage she had caused. She would be out one best friend. And one true love.  
  
She sighed and went upstairs to her room, her own sanctuary. Not exactly the brightest move she'd ever made.   
  
There were reminders all over the room of the one that had touched her heart. There were the tie dyed sheets, folded neatly on her desk. Feeling slightly nostalgic, she found herself taking her new sheets off and replacing them with the ones that made her think of Gordo.  
  
-FLASHBACK-  
  
They were laying on the sheets, his head resting gently against her legs. An thought she wasn't even aware she was having slid it's way into her mind. 'I could do this forever. Just lay here next to him, staring at the sky.'  
  
-END FLASHBACK-  
  
That was one of her favorite memories. It was small, simple, and boy, looking back, it seemed so long ago. But it was still close to her heart.  
  
Who was she kidding? Everywhere she turned, she saw something else that made her feel like her heart was being ripped out. She needed to get out of the house, before the lump that was rising in her throat would make its way to the surface.  
  
"Mom," she called, taking the steps two at a time then poking her head into the living room.  
  
Mrs. McGuire glanced up from the photo album she was piecing together. "Yes, Lizzie?"  
  
"I'm going to go to the park, okay?"  
  
Her mom nodded. "That's fine. Just be back before dark."  
  
"I promise."  
  
With that she was out the door and on her way.  
  
The walk to the park wasn't long from the McGuire household. When she reached her destination she breathed a deep sigh of relief and collapsed into a swing. Now she could maybe have a couple of minutes without having Gordo plague her thoughts.  
  
"Hey, Lizzie."  
  
*Ugh. Talk about the bad timing award.*  
  
She forced a smile and stared up at Gordo. "Hey."  
  
He took a seat beside her.  
  
"You're not following me, are you," he joked.  
  
She shook her head. "Is your date over already?" It wasn't but 5 when she left her house.  
  
"Yeah, we went out for lunch."  
  
"Did you have a good time?"   
  
He nodded. "Yeah. Sara's really smart."  
  
"Sara?"  
  
"My date. Sara Green."  
  
"Oh." She cleared her throat and smiled again. "Well, I'm glad you had a good time. Because, you know, that's what I want, above all else. For you to be happy."   
  
Something flickered in his eyes. Something that looked suspiciously like a light bulb coming on.  
  
*Uh oh.*  
  
"I want you to be happy too," he said slowly, cautiously. He was watching her. Taking her in and inspecting her every movement. He caught her eyes and held them.  
  
She fought for breath.   
  
"You're my best friend. Why wouldn't I want you to be happy," she answered, intentionally referring to the conversation they'd had the night of the murder mystery party.  
  
He didn't alter his gaze. "So, you want me to be happy and I want you to be happy. It's all good."  
  
"All systems go," she whispered.   
  
It seemed like an eternity as she waited for some sign, some single of what he was feeling. His expression gave nothing away as he sat there.  
  
Watching.  
  
Then he stood. And reaching out with his right hand, he pulled her to her feet as well.  
  
She ached to say something, but feared it might break the palpable feeling that was growing in the air. Her heart was racing a mile a minute and was so loud she was certain he could hear.  
  
If he did, he gave no indication.  
  
And then, finally, he leaned in to her and she into him, both of their lips aching for the taste of the other's. She could smell his soap, and a cologne that he'd probably borrowed from his dad.  
  
"I should go," Gordo murmured, quickly pulling back before their lips could touch. "It's getting dark."  
  
Lizzie took a deep breath and glanced up at the blazing sun. Sundown wasn't for least another 2 hours. "Me too."  
  
And just like that, he was gone, and she was left there, with nothing but her tears for company. 


	7. I Need You

Disclaimer: I own very little. Okay, nothing. Well, I DO own my computer. And…. Uh…. Well, that's all.  
  
A/N I appreciate all the feedback I've been getting. And I would like to add, that I am REALLY excited about this chapter. J  
  
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"You're the hope that moves me  
To courage again.  
You're the love that rescues me  
When the cold winds rage.  
And it's so amazing  
'Cause that's just how you are.  
And I can't turn back now  
'Cause you've brought me too far."  
  
-LeAnn Rimes, I Need You  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
In the days following, Lizzie left her room for exactly three reasons: to eat, use the bathroom, and throw out the tie dyed sheets (the last of which her mother saw and promptly retrieved them from the trash).   
  
Miranda called six times, her persistence wasted-each instance she was told by Mrs. McGuire that Lizzie was unavailable to talk, with regret in the elder's voice.  
  
But as many times as Miranda called, Gordo twiced it, though he was given the same answer.  
  
On the 5th night of her solitude, Lizzie's parents chose to go out to dinner.  
  
"Do you want to come," Mrs. McGuire asked, stepping into her daughter's room.  
  
"No thanks, mom," Lizzie answered, carefully studying her magazine. "I'll just get some frozen pizza or something. No biggie."  
  
"Honey," Mrs. McGuire began, taking a seat on the bed next to her. "You can't stay up here forever. You refuse you speak to your friends, or us, your family. We all care about you."  
  
Lizzie nodded and brushed away a tear sliding down her cheek. "I know. I'm just… I feel so lost."   
  
"Is it Gordo?"  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
She smiled. "The boy's called about 12 times. It wasn't hard to decipher."  
  
"I just thought he liked me. And now he's dating some girl, and she's really smart and perfect for him. But he was going to kiss me, I KNOW he was."  
  
Mrs. McGuire pulled her into a hug. "Just talk to him. Its really the only thing that will sort out this mess."  
  
"I know."  
  
"We can stay in if you like," she offered, smiling gently at her daughter.  
  
"No," Lizzie answered, "I'll be okay. Really. To be honest, I think I'd like to be alone."  
  
And alone she was for the next hour. The house was silent. Outside, summer had taken on a frightening mask as rain poured against the windows and door, and lighting lit up the dark corners of the house.  
  
She was suddenly very aware of just how alone she was.  
  
Another lightening bolt and the swift thunder following made her jump in surprise and fear, and she raced from her room downstairs. Up there confined to her bedroom was the last thing she wanted.  
  
Then the lights went out.  
  
She screamed.   
  
"Candles," she whispered, and rushed for the kitchen. She fished through the drawer they were normally kept in, but found nothing. Her mom had spent last week rearranging the kitchen. There was no telling where they would be, and she wouldn't be able to find them in the dark.  
  
A banging at the door caught her attention. Maybe it was her parents. Maybe they would be home, and had just forgotten their keys.  
  
She swung open the door and immediately regretted it.  
  
"Hey, Gordo," she said, ignoring her trembling hands.  
  
"Hey," he returned, and stepped around her into her house. "Um, your mom called our house and asked us to tell you that the candles are in the drawer beside the sink."  
  
Lizzie automatically moved to the drawer mentioned and removed three candles and the matches. She lit one of the wicks and breathed a sigh of relief when it illuminated the room. She placed it into the holder, drew out several more and repeated the same motion.  
  
"Thanks," she whispered as she worked, unable to took him in the eyes.  
  
He nodded and moved to stand beside her. "She tried to call here but Matt had left the phone off the hook." He picked up the phone and hung it up.  
  
Almost immediately it rang.  
  
"Hello," Lizzie answered, pulling at the cord so that she could light and talk at the same time.  
  
"Honey!" Mrs. McGuire cried, the moment she heard her voice. "How are you?"  
  
"Okay," Lizzie answered, ignoring the fact that Gordo was watching her every move. Her hand shook as she went to light another candle, and he reached out and placed his on hers to steady it.   
  
"Lizzie, we're on the way home but we're caught in traffic. There was a huge wreck up ahead and no one is really moving."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"Listen, would you ask Gordo to stay there with you?"  
  
*Me and Gordo in the candlelight, alone? This has canNOT be reality. I must be trapped in a Greek tragedy. SOMEONE LET ME OUT!*  
  
"Mom," she hissed, jerking away from her friend and turning so that only her back faced him.  
  
Mrs. McGuire sighed. "I know that the two of you are having problems, but I'd feel much better knowing that he's there with you. There's no telling when we'll be able to get home."  
  
She glanced at Gordo. "My mom wants to know if you'll stay here with me."  
  
His eyebrows shot up, and there was no denying that the same things she had been thinking were going through his mind.  
  
"You can say no," she quickly added.   
  
"No, it's fine," he agreed after another moment of thought.  
  
Lizzie relayed the message and hung up.   
  
"Um, I guess I'd better set these out," she said, gesturing to the dozen candles she'd lit.  
  
He moved to help her. "We could just put them in the living room and sit in there."  
  
*Sigh. If my life were just a little simpler than this might be incredibly romantic.*  
  
Between the two of them they were able to set them out, and together they collapsed on the couch. Right beside each other.  
  
*Move, move, get up!*  
  
But she didn't. All she did was whisper something inwardly: "God, if you will PLEASE, just for tonight, let him love me, I promise, I will be nice to Matt for the next… 24 hours. Amen."  
  
"What are you thinking," Gordo asked, nudging her gently.  
  
"Just about, you know, stuff."  
  
"Stuff, huh?" He paused and lowered his eyes. "You used to be able to tell me everything."  
  
She flushed. "It's different now."  
  
He took her hand and held it loosely. She shivered, still unable to look him in the eye. "What's changed," he asked, weaving his fingers through hers.   
  
Slowly she allowed her eyes to catch his. "I'm not sure."  
  
"Is it me?"  
  
"No," she answered quickly. "No, it's not you. You're perfect."  
  
Not catching what she meant, he pressed, "What then?"  
  
*How can he not notice? Is this how I was when he liked me?*  
  
"It's…complex."  
  
"What's so complex that your best friend wouldn't understand?"  
  
She swallowed. "It's that guy, the one I told you I loved."  
  
He blinked. Whatever he'd been expecting, it hadn't been that. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I thought I could get over him," she replied, shifting. "I thought if I ignored it, pretended it wasn't there, it would go away, but I just don't know anymore."  
  
She felt his hand begin to tremble . "You still love him?"  
  
In for a penny, in for a pound. "Yes, I do."  
  
She gazed at his face, uncertain as to how clear this was coming across, and wondering if, assuming he caught on, this would be the last time she'd see him. He may get the message and never want to see her again.  
  
"8th grade seems so far away," she murmured when it appeared he wasn't going to comment.  
  
"A lifetime," he agreed. "I mean, since then, you've had a singing career. Not too many 14 year olds can say the same."  
  
"LeAnn Rimes can."  
  
He chuckled. "Yes, that's true." The laughter only seemed to add to the warmth surrounding them. Reaching out, he brushed a stray lock of hair away from her eyes.   
  
"Much better," he whispered.   
  
She smiled self consciously.   
  
He didn't move his hand from her face. Instead he slowly began stroking her cheek. His fingertips made her heart race.   
  
"Who was he?" he asked.   
  
"Who was she?" she returned.  
  
He didn't answer. Neither had to. For the first time in too long their two hearts knew exactly what the other was thinking. They were in sync.  
  
He slid his eyes shut and swallowing once, she did the same. She reached out with her right hand slid it behind his neck. And slowly, achingly slowly, they brought their lips together and they touched. Electricity unlike anything she had ever experienced shot down her spine and everything else, the rain, Sara, the fact that at any moment her parents could walk through the door, all those thoughts flew from both of their minds as they strengthened the kiss.  
  
A/N Nope, it's not over. I'm going to write at least another two chapters. I hope you have enjoyed it thus far. 


	8. What If I Said?

Disclaimer: I own… well, nothing. But if anyone knows where I can find a Gordo for sale, please let me know as I am always on the market for cute, short, curly haired guys. J  
  
A/N: Okay, I know this one's late, but I couldn't decide exactly where to go with this chapter. I knew what I wanted to happen, but I didn't want it to be too short.  
  
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"What if I told you, what if I said,  
That I love you?  
How would you feel, what would you think,  
What would we do?  
Do we dare to cross that line,  
Between your heart and mine?  
I've always wondered,  
From the day that we met.  
What if I said, what if I said?   
What if I said?"  
  
-Anita Cochran and Steve Warner, What If I Said?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The sound of the doorknob jiggling as her parents tried to unlock it caused the couple to break apart. Lizzie couldn't bring herself to chance a glance at Gordo.  
  
"Lizzie," her mom called, stepping into the house, followed closely behind by Matt and Mr. McGuire, who instantly went upstairs to change their clothes. They'd had to park FAR away from the restaurant and had gotten drenched on the way returning to the car.   
  
"I'm here," Lizzie answered, slowly getting to her feet. She heard Gordo do the same.  
  
Her mother smiled at the boy and thanked him for staying. "Gordo, if you'll just let me change out of these soaked shoes I'll go ahead and give you a ride home."  
  
Gordo shook his head and opened the front door. He gestured to the black umbrella resting on the porch. "Don't worry about it, Mrs. McGuire, I can walk."  
  
"It's really no trouble."  
  
"I know, but it's okay." He paused and flicked his eyes at Lizzie. "I'd RATHER walk, I think."  
  
Mrs. McGuire stared silently at them, a small puddle gathering in the living room. Then she shrugged. "If you're sure."  
  
"I am," he said quickly. He began to take a step outside.  
  
"I'll walk you out," Lizzie volunteered, and fell into a step behind him. Once they were both outside, shielded from the rain by the porch ceiling, she shut the door.  
  
"Lizzie-" he began.  
  
"Gordo-" she started. She chuckled but he did not.  
  
"Can I go first," he asked quietly. A cold shadow of fear traveled up her spine as she replied, "Sure."  
  
"Look, Lizzie…" His voice trailed away as he allowed his gaze to meet hers. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Lizzie, I'm really sorry."  
  
*WHAT?!?!*  
  
"What?"   
  
He wrung his hands nervously. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. It was just so beautiful, your eyes were shining, and I thought… Well, it doesn't matter what I thought. Anyway, the point is that I take complete responsibility for the whole thing and I would understand if you never wanted to speak to me again." He dropped his eyes to where they were silently watching his feet.  
  
*Okay, that's it. I've tried being nice, but obviously this guy isn't a master at deciphering subtlety.*  
  
Gathering all her anger, all her frustration, all the love she had been carrying heavy on her heart for the last few weeks she said the words she'd been aching to say for what felt like eternity. "What do you want?"  
  
He blinked and looked up, his expression speaking volumes of the confusion he was feeling.  
  
"What?"  
  
She breathed in once more. "What do you want? From me, us, whatever. What is it that you want? Because, you see, I want you."  
  
He froze, unable to move.  
  
"You know, I thought I was being clear. I thought that right before we kissed-" She paused for emphasis. "…WE KISSED, that my feelings for you were clear as glass, but apparently not. You know, or maybe they are and you don't feel the same. But whatever the case, I cannot take it. I can't take not knowing how you feel." She took a step closer. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Look, I know that I act really shallow, and I know that for the last two years you have listened to me whine and complain and practically beg for Ethan, and there was no reason for you to believe that there was room in my heart for anyone else. But that's not true. Because Ethan never made to my heart. YOU did." Tears were streaming down her cheeks but she didn't care. "I know that you liked me."  
  
His eyebrows shot up but he couldn't seem to bring himself to comment.  
  
"It doesn't matter how. The fact is I know. And I hoped that maybe you still felt the same way. And when we had that fight, I thought you were talking about me, the girl that you loved." She began to tremble. "I love you, Gordo. I love the way you are so concerned about grades, about how you care for others. I love how you've always been there for me, even when it was hurting you. I love the way you can forgive, and how you are so driven. I love it all. I know this may destroy our friendship, but I had to tell you."   
  
Hesitatingly, she sought to catch his eyes with hers. "How do you feel about me?"  
  
For a full minute, he stood there not saying a word. The fear she had been feeling intensified until her entire stomach was in knots. Then finally he sighed.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
*Okay, there are really only two appropriate answers here. 'I love you too,' or 'get lost.' 'I don't know' just doesn't cut it.'*  
  
"You…don't know?"  
  
He reached for the umbrella, and she could see his hand was shaking. "I need to think about it."  
  
*What's to think about? You either love me or you don't.*  
  
"Think about it," she repeated, as though testing the words to see if they would leave any perminate physical damage. Nope, just the breaking of a heart.  
  
"It's just sort of coming out of no where." He opened the umbrella.  
  
Finally a small part of her snapped. "Out of nowhere. Newsflash, Gordo, this has been 14 years in the making. 'Out of nowhere' isn't a phrase I would use to describe my feelings for you."  
  
"You're serious?" he questioned.   
  
"I'm serious."  
  
With that, he was gone. She watched his retreating back until he was out of sight. With a strangled moan, she stepped back into the house.   
  
"Lizzie and Gordo. How quaint."  
  
Matt was standing right in front of her, his eyes bright with the hope of embarrassing his sister. Shock slid through his body when Lizzie simply smiled down at him and patted his head. "Isn't it?"  
  
Anger darkened his face. "Mom," he screamed.  
  
Mrs. McGuire poked her head downstairs at her children. "Yes, Matt?"  
  
"Lizzie's being nice to me!" he shrieked.   
  
Mrs. McGuire sighed. "Lizzie stop-" She halted as though suddenly realizing what she had been about to say.   
  
"Matt," she chastised, placing her hands on her hips in typical mom-mode. "I think you can handle some kindness." With that, she returned to her bedroom to change.  
  
"Don't worry," Lizzie assured her brother, "it'll be over by tomorrow night."  
  
He glowered at her. "Yeah well, until then, just stay away." And he too went to his room.  
  
"I don't know." Gordo's words haunted her thoughts. He didn't know? She wondered what he was doing, and if he missed her. Yes, he'd been gone for only 5 minutes, but, really, he'd been gone from her since Rome. Except for tonight. For one brief hour she'd had him back and for that she would have been nice to her brother for the rest of her life.  
  
Luckily, she'd only promised one day.  
  
A/N: Okay, I know, I know, disappointing, but once I finish the last chapter ya'll will love me again. Trust me. 


	9. Anymore, Deux

Disclaimer: I don't own any Lizzie McGuire characters. I partly own Sara. That's all.  
  
A/N: It's over. Sorry, but now I am forced to bid you goodbye-at least until my next story. I hope you have enjoyed 'Buildup.'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I've got to take the chance   
Or let it pass by  
If I expect to get on with my life."  
  
-Travis Tritt, Anymore  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The sunlight warmed her face as Lizzie moaned and rolled over. It was morning. Whatever had happened with Gordo the night before had come and gone, leaving her with a dull ach in her heart. For the last several weeks she had been imagining the feel of his lips on hers, the touch of his hand on her cheek. And last night these illusions had taken on human form.   
  
Despite the heat radiating from the sun, she shivered.   
  
At least he knew.   
  
She showered quickly, dressed, and was walking down the steps as she heard her mom call, "Lizzie, breakfast."  
  
She had no idea how she'd get through the next couple of days, next couple of years, really, but it all began with her favorite meal of the day.  
  
Or her favorite guy of all time.  
  
"Gordo?"  
  
She stood in the kitchen staring at him in shock. Smiling slyly, Mr. and Mrs. McGuire slid out of the room with Matt's arm held firmly in his father's hand.   
  
"What are you doing here?" It had been exactly one evening since the kiss, but already her lips were aching to feel his against them again. Ignoring their plea, she walked around him and grabbed an apple.  
  
"Who let you in, anyway? My mom?"  
  
He didn't say a word, only stood there, staring at her.  
  
She took a bite, fighting for the nonchalance she was feigning. "What's up?" She swallowed.  
  
And suddenly his lips were on hers, his arms around her waist. She dropped the apple to the floor and pulled him closer, savoring every moment of the kiss. Their lips explored each others, their hearts beating wildly in tune.   
  
When he finally pulled back, his eyes were still bright with love.   
  
*About TIME!*  
  
His voice was gentle as he brushed his finger against her cheek. "I need to tell you something."  
  
A big goofy smile spread across her face. Automatically one just like it appeared on his as well.  
  
"What?" She knew. With every piece of her being, she KNEW. But she wanted, needed to hear it.  
  
"I broke up with Sara."  
  
*Okay, it's not 'I love you' but as far as beginnings go, not too bad.*  
  
"Why?"  
  
He grinned again and she followed suit. It took every ounce of her self control not to jump up and down.  
  
"Why do you think," he teased. He nudged her with his shoulder.   
  
She laughed. "I'm afraid to say it out loud."  
  
"Well, I'm not." His face grew serious as he took a deep breath. "Lizzie, my whole life has been one snapshot moment after another. But the memories I have, the only ones worth mentioning are ones where you're there too. You and I on vacation. You and I on the lake. You and I dancing. You and I competing. It seems that every time I think about something worth smiling about, you're there too. But I've always felt like that. So I had no idea why my heart started racing every time you came near. My feelings were changing and I'll be honest-it scared me. I promised myself on the way back from Rome, when I came so close to losing you, that I would give up these ridiculous feelings for you and move on. Or, at least, pretend I was moving on." He paused to smile gently. "I didn't have any plan about what to do if you fell for me."  
  
She held her breath. Say it. Please, if you love me, say it.  
  
He stepped closer until their lips were but a breath away. "I love you, Elizabeth Brooke McGuire. With all I am, and all I'll ever be, I love you. And I promise that no matter what you can always count on me to be there for you."  
  
*Don't squeal, don't squeal, don't squeal.*  
  
She swallowed another smile that was creeping its way out. "I love you too." And for the mess ups and near misses they had been through, they kissed.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A spring breeze cooled Lizzie's shoulders as she brought out the mustard, ketchup and mayonnaise. Already, hot dogs, hamburgers, buns, chips, dip and drinks had filled the picnic table so all that was needed now were the condiments.   
  
"I've got the chili," her husband announced, stepping outside. He rested the bowl on the table and pulled his wife to him for a kiss, then sat down beside her.   
  
"Why do they always have to DO that," a 5-year-old, dark haired girl moaned.  
  
Miranda Sanchez-Tudgeman laughed and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Because they're in love."   
  
Larry grinned and brushed his lips against his wife's. "Was that a hint?"  
  
"Ewww…" all the children shrieked.   
  
"What's the matter," Matt McGuire asked, stepping out of his sister's home carrying plates.   
  
"All the grownups are KISSING," 7 year old Sam Gordon informed his uncle. "And it's GROSS."  
  
Matt chucked. His fiancée, Melina, approached him and firmly laid her lips on his. Then she stuck her tongue out at the kids.   
  
"Eww!"  
  
Lizzie smiled at the familiarity of the situation and lifted her smallest of three children, 2-year-old Megan into her arms. Her middle child, Josephine, was 3, and seated quite comfortably on her father's lap. Gordo caught her gaze.  
  
"Have I ever told you how lucky I am," she asked, running her finger's through Megan's thin, but curly brown hair.  
  
He took her hand. "Not today."  
  
"I am so lucky."  
  
Josephine snuggled closer against her father and Gordo kissed his wife's hand. "I'm the lucky one."  
  
At that moment Mr. and Mrs. McGuire appeared outside. And, for good measure, kissed.  
  
"Gordo, get off your lazy butt and help me serve," Matt called from the grill.  
  
He grinned hand set Jo down. Carrying a plate to put the food on, he scolded his brother in law for his inability to cook. "Matt, you're supposed to TURN THEM OVER."  
  
Miranda, seeing a spot open beside her best friend, sat down. "I can't believe how many years it's been," she commented as her eyes wandered to her husband. He winked at her as he gathered their daughter in his arms.  
  
"I know," Lizzie agreed, watching her OWN husband. He felt her gaze on his back and turned and met her eyes. He mouthed 'I love you.'  
  
"Was it everything you wanted," Miranda continued.   
  
As her children each yelled what they wanted to eat, her husband kissed her forehead and dished out the food, she found herself answering, "Everything and more." 


End file.
